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5 Ways to Fit in Self-Care When You Have Little Kids

Read more about Parenting. What is self-care? Self-care means taking care of yourself to refuel, or replenish your own energy. It starts with the basics like sleep, eating, and hygiene, but we often forget that mentally, emotionally, and spiritually we need to do...

How Do I Set Up New Clients With An Invoice and Contract Using 17Hats?

Read more about Digital Marketing for Inspiring Entrepreneurs here. If you're a new entrepreneur or coach, you're probably wondering how to get your client on-boarded in a professional way. When I started, I used DocuSign for contracts and Acuity for scheduling and...

How I Organized Our Toys to Get Our Sanity Back

Read more about finding your Soul Truth in Parenting. When we arrived home, the carpet was missing. Well, it seemed to be missing. It was covered by a layer of balls, PJ Masks, markers, paper, books, and socks. So many socks. My husband made the usual comment that it...

Angry? Where Are Your Boundaries?

If you’re an empath, having kids revealed any way you gave too much of yourself to the more narcissistic partner. Whatever imbalance existed--in meeting their needs over meeting your own--will be revealed because your kids don’t have an alternative; they depend on you...

The Pink Crayons: A Story to Help Your Child With Friendship

The other night I was snuggled up next to my daughter in her Elsa blanket, having our nightly chat before she goes to sleep. We pretend she's going to stay in her bed, but mostly she just sneaks into my room in the dark, silently waiting for my heart to stop when I...

Is Your Missing Intention For Your Relationship Sabotaging It?

“What’s your intention for your relationship?” << That’s one of the first questions I ask my clients. If I could sprinkle pixie dust on your relationship to make it perfect, whether it's with your spouse or child, what does that perfect look like, for you?...

What is a Conscious Parenting Coach?

A Conscious Parenting Coach is someone that has been extensively trained in child development, psychology, mindfulness, and emotional intelligence. As a Conscious Parenting Coach, my focus is the relationship, either between the parent and the child or between both...

Is Your Ego Where Your Boundaries Should Be?

Heart armor used to do the job of my missing boundaries. Maybe you know this armor as your ego. It's that voice inside your head that judges others as good or bad to make you feel safe and good. It's always trying to build us up so we don't feel pain. The more hurts...

Mom, I’m Not a Crybaby

Imagine you're watching a child struggle at the playground. Tears start to fall as his big sister pushes in front of him. His mom pulls the phone away from her mouth to tell him to stop crying right now, that she's "not raising no crybaby." What she doesn't know is...

Conscious Relationships When He’s Not Conscious

"He's not conscious, what do I do?" <-- Is this question on your mind? What the heck do we do with the relationship when we've done allllll this personal growth work and our husband is just lagging behind in unconscious-ville, all up in his ego? He's not parenting...
Ahh, that new baby smell..

I remember those first few nights after my newborn arrived.  I’d had an induction and spent the entire week in the hospital, half of it getting to and then in labor.  I had her naturally, but had caved and used the epidural on the second day (I feel contractions in my back and it was just too much).

I was super fortunate to have an amazing midwife who listened to me when I pointed out that my baby went into distress when they broke my water, and pumped water back in, thus avoiding the c-section they kept threatening!

I would so have loved to have a home birth.  But I digress.

Those first few days, after getting over the initial exhaustion of not having slept in over a hundred hours, were so weird – everything was different – it felt like I’d entered a brand new life even though I was in the same house.

I knew nothing really about detachment and living in the moment and meditation at this point in my life.  I reminisced about sitting on the couch with my dogs, leisurely getting up whenever I wanted, going to the bathroom without feeling like someone’s well-being depended on whether I did it now or when they were asleep.

But I also had this other strange, dark cloud come over me.  I would just sob and sob sometimes, especially in the shower when I was trying to finally step away from her and trust that she would be okay with my husband.

I didn’t understand: I LOVED this baby, why was I crying?!  Why did it feel like the house was filled with sadness?

I did some research and found something that was NEVER discussed with me at all, at any point in my pregnancy, at the hospital, I don’t even remember reading it in the books I’d read: there is a MASSIVE drop in hormones after the baby is born.

The body goes through something HUGE after birth.  Not only is it recovering from the physical trauma, everything that has been surging through your blood for the past nine months is suddenly gone!

So now I knew what it was, but what to do about it?  Well, I also had researched soy milk a lot because I knew I would be choosing soy formula if I decided to supplement.  In everything I’d found, I learned that soy can actually be a hormone regulator, adjusting imbalances in the body.

I started drinking more soy milk, tried to move more, get out in the sunlight as much as I could (no easy feat in the Midwest in February), and eventually I felt “normal” again.  I still struggled with breastfeeding, but I didn’t go into depression.

If this initial dark weight doesn’t pass, make sure you discuss it with your doctor as soon as they can get you in.  You may have entered postpartum depression and need help.  Being a brand new mom can be so hard, especially if you are prone to anxiety, desperate to breastfeed, have a baby with an “always hold me” temperament, and ESPECIALLY if you have little or no support from a partner. 

You are not abnormal at all.  This is part of it.  It’s not all baby booties and lullabies those first few days or weeks.  It can easily be: “Oh my God, what have I done?!” 

Especially for women that are used to always knowing what to do, super controllers and over-achievers, really any mom that doesn’t step into vulnerability much.  Having an entire LIFE in your hands and crazy changes happening in your body, on top of being seriously sleep-deprived, can lead to dark thoughts, sometimes of despair.

If you’re reading this and this is you right now, PLEASE reach out or ask your doctor or midwife for resources in your area.

Hey guys!  I’m now accepting applications for a FREE 45 Minute Authentic Wife & Family Evaluation Call!  I want to learn more about your challenges, whether they be with your child or your spouse, and your desired results, so I can help you achieve them in the shortest time possible!  Just click Book Services to see if I have a space available to chat with you today!