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It Takes Balls to Build a Business

Read more about Digital Marketing in your business here. "So it's three stories tall and there's nothing between you and certain death but a short net? And you're going to take my little man there?" I was cautiously optimistic about Topgolf, a new business in our town...

What the World Needs From You

The world needs to hear that you love them, that their worries are small in the hands of God, that love and presence prevail and that abundance welcomes abundance. You must align to the spirit of love and generosity before your wallets will be full. The money you seek...

Fear as the Barometer of Soul-Alignment

I had a gut feeling from the time I read the email. Something was just off. I didn't care for the tone, the lack of personal greeting, the demands. My gut said no. Then I listened to others. I knew it was what I SHOULD do. On the day of the meeting, I learned more...

Embracing Your Feminine Energy is Not Submitting to a Gender Role

Picture it: Sicily Frigid Ohio, five years ago. The bottom of my stainless steel sink is buried under a layer of baby bottles that must be washed tonight or her 3 AM wakeup is not going to go well. Tears stream down her face as soon as I walk away to do anything. The...

5 Ways to Fit in Self-Care When You Have Little Kids

Read more about Parenting. What is self-care? Self-care means taking care of yourself to refuel, or replenish your own energy. It starts with the basics like sleep, eating, and hygiene, but we often forget that mentally, emotionally, and spiritually we need to do...

How Do I Set Up New Clients With An Invoice and Contract Using 17Hats?

Read more about Digital Marketing for Inspiring Entrepreneurs here. If you're a new entrepreneur or coach, you're probably wondering how to get your client on-boarded in a professional way. When I started, I used DocuSign for contracts and Acuity for scheduling and...

How I Organized Our Toys to Get Our Sanity Back

Read more about finding your Soul Truth in Parenting. When we arrived home, the carpet was missing. Well, it seemed to be missing. It was covered by a layer of balls, PJ Masks, markers, paper, books, and socks. So many socks. My husband made the usual comment that it...

Angry? Where Are Your Boundaries?

If you’re an empath, having kids revealed any way you gave too much of yourself to the more narcissistic partner. Whatever imbalance existed--in meeting their needs over meeting your own--will be revealed because your kids don’t have an alternative; they depend on you...

The Pink Crayons: A Story to Help Your Child With Friendship

The other night I was snuggled up next to my daughter in her Elsa blanket, having our nightly chat before she goes to sleep. We pretend she's going to stay in her bed, but mostly she just sneaks into my room in the dark, silently waiting for my heart to stop when I...

Is Your Missing Intention For Your Relationship Sabotaging It?

“What’s your intention for your relationship?” << That’s one of the first questions I ask my clients. If I could sprinkle pixie dust on your relationship to make it perfect, whether it's with your spouse or child, what does that perfect look like, for you?...

If you’re an empath, having kids revealed any way you gave too much of yourself to the more narcissistic partner.

Whatever imbalance existed–in meeting their needs over meeting your own–will be revealed because your kids don’t have an alternative; they depend on you to meet all their needs. And, well, there’s only so much time in a day and energy in your being. Something has to give.

Usually, it’s your relationship.

Then the fighting starts. And the narcissist, let’s say it’s the husband, may want to blame the kids as the problem, while you may want to blame him as the problem. But the truth is that the imbalance was always there. The kids just revealed it.

In my home, it was division of duties and time for self care. In yours, it may be sex or money, or something else. There was some way you let them trample on your boundaries because you felt “love” or “security” in return.

Not having boundaries works when we just run on empty and sleep is enough to refuel us. But running on less than empty? That’s when the anger can’t be stopped. Our yelling is really our body’s way of trying to create the boundaries we won’t. The anger says, “NO MORE!!!”

Sometimes that’s directed at the spouse. And sometimes it’s projected at the kids. But it will arise and want to be felt.

You don’t have to express it, but you do have to feel it. You do have to let the anger come out of your body. Feeling it is healthy. It’s just here to bring you the message that you have GOT to hold some limits.

But expressing it may be counter-productive. Expressing anger will cause others to go into fear and be defensive. If you cross THEIR boundaries with your expression then their anger will be activated, too! You’re just projecting the anger at them rather than feeling it in a healthy way.

HOWEVER. Sometimes the expression is necessary to set the boundary for you. If you were being raped, you’d let that anger fly in full force. If no other method of communication is working in your house, your body will make its point. Maybe it’s yelling, but maybe it gets you in the car to leave so your spouse can watch the kids while you get some way, way over-due self care.

Anger is your friend. It’s not a shadow to be disidentified with. It’s not unhealthy.

What’s unhealthy is to not pay enough attention to the message your anger is bringing. True anger (not arising from the ego) is protective.

Anger says: ENOUGH.

So having kids isn’t the problem. The problem is that you were tapped out and depleted BEFORE they came, you just weren’t pushed over the edge yet. Your kids won’t let your lack of boundaries continue. Your kids will demand that you take care of and love yourself. Your kids will demand that you find your village or create one. And it goes both ways – both the empath and the narcissist need to find healthy ways to take care of themselves.

Both need to learn how to meet their own needs.

The empath for the first time.

And the narcissist for the first time on their own.